Cuban Pork STRAIGHT FROM HEAVEN

Two bits of back story to make this latin gem complete:

1. I have a group of friends who get together on a regular basis for a potluck dinner in the theme of whatever country the host/hostess chooses.  We've done Granada, Spain, even Afghanistan...and last night was Cuba.  No one brought cigars.  Cue disappointment. 

2. Not too long ago, I was sucked in by Albertson's grocery store's buy-1-get-2-free (yes, you read that right) meat special; I ended up with more meat than I knew what to do with....so last night, I cooked it. I cooked it real good. 

The recipe involved a slow cooker, so automatically, I was all in from the get-go.  

Y'all know I love a good slow cooker recipe

I substituted 7 rib chops for the one bone-in shoulder the original recipe used, which allowed me to cut the cook time almost in half.  I drizzled grapeseed oil in the crock pot, tossed the pork in it, then added 10 whole cloves of peeled garlic (yummm), cumin, kosher salt, fresh ground pepper, crushed red pepper flakes, and some cinnamon.  I squeezed 4 fresh limes into the pot and topped the mixture with about 1/2 a can of frozen orange juice concentrate.

Those weird orange turdlets are the OJ concentrate.  I swear.  

I turned the crock pot on high and let it cook for an hour, then switched it to low and cooked until the meat fell off the bone; about 6 hours.  In the meantime, I painted my house.  

You know, the usual mid-cooking rampage activity.  No big deal.  Whatevs.  

Once the pork was tender, I stuck the whole crock pot in the fridge to cool.  Of course, this felt like it took forever.  

Yea lord, give unto me the strength to NOT EAT ALL OF THIS RIGHT NOW. 

Once cool, I shredded the meat with two forks while I made a reduction of the pork juices: I strained out all the solids: 

Yes, that's ALL garlic.

and simmered the pork juice, 2T apple cider vinegar, more garlic (I chopped all those cloves I roasted with the pork in the crock pot), more crushed red pepper, more lime juice, and salt and pepper.  I whisked it occasionally over medium-high heat until it reduced to about 1/4 its original volume.  

I poured the sauce over the shredded pork in a casserole pan and tossed the two together.  

¡y....voila!  

It seemed wayyyyy too simple to be this delicious; but no, it is NOT too good to be true!  It even got a shoutout from the Cuban host himself.  Then momma went and had way too many mojitos and that's where the story ends.  Y'all enjoy.  

So-Good-Yet-So-So-Bad Chocolate-Merlot Torte

The BrewMeister and I recently went hiking at The Narrows of the Harpeth (if you live in Nashville and like hiking/ kayaking, I recommend this place!) We were famished afterwards, so we trekked to The Cottage Cafe in Bellevue, a tiny cafe/bakery nestled between an antique store and a home furnishings consignment shop. I was initially drawn to this place because of its sense of humor: anyone who knows me will know that I appreciate insanely corny puns and clever witticisms over all else. This place's bakery was called "Crumb de la Crumb," so I had to try it.

This is where Fate comes in.

On the day we visited (which was my 2nd time that week, but I digress), we wanted to try a certain type of cake. We ordered, then were devastated when they were out of that flavor. Did we want to try another one? "We have a delightful Chocolate-Bailey's cake and--this isn't on the menu yet--we have a fresh Chocolate Merlot cake, too."

Chocolate and merlot? Chocolate and merlot! Two of my favorite things!

It was heavenly. So I decided to make one. I found this recipe and intended to follow it word-for-word, but that is not what happens when I decide to bake.

You will need:
Electric or hand mixer
Sieve or flour sifter
9" Springform pan
Rectangular pie pan or larger circular pan that your springform pan can fit INTO while baking

9.7 oz bittersweet chocolate
1/2 c sugar
8 Tbsp merlot (remember to save some for the cook!)
8 oz (1 stick) butter, melted and cooled
5 large eggs
1 Tbsp AP flour

For the chocolate, I used a mixture of 70%, 85% and 90% cocoa. 

These brands were purchased from Wal-Mart (Lindt) and Aldi (Moser Roth). No need to go all boutique-expensive for this recipe. The Aldi chocolate was so yummy by itself, I highly recommend it for snacking at $1.99 for 4 oz. Cha-ching.

The first step I took was to melt and cool my butter, since that would take a bit of time. While the butter cooled, I chopped the chocolate. Keep in mind, the smaller pieces you have, the less time it will take to melt and the sooner it will become smooth. I usually like to keep my nibbling chocolate in the freezer, but for easy chopping you'll want it at room temp. Put the chopped chocolate into a bowl.

Then butter the spring form pan, pre-heat the oven to 350* and measure out your merlot:

This part was strange for me: measuring wine in tablespoons? Usually I measure wine in what I like to call "serving sizes" of "glasses" or "bottles."

For the merlot, I used a hoity-toity bottle, purchased at my local wino-ry for 3/$10. As you can see in the photo, this wine has been previously opened. Again and again.

*A note on the wine you choose: don't just buy a wine because it's cheap. Buy a wine that you know you like (you're only using 8 Tbsp, after all, so you'll have plenty left over). When you cook or bake with wine you should ALWAYS use something that you would actually drink. Be sure to do some quality control sipping of your wine while you bake.*

Combine the merlot and sugar in a saucepan over high heat, stir constantly until it boils, then pour the heated mixture over your chopped chocolate and stir until it's smooth and scrumptious. Add 1/2 the melted butter, stir, then the other 1/2.

Sneak a sample here, before you add the raw eggs! 

 The 5 eggs go in another bowl and get beaten/ whipped for 7-8 minutes until they've tripled in volume. Make sure you do this for the full amount of time, so your eggs will be stiff and the torte will be fluffy and splendid.

Add 1/2 the eggs to the chocolate, fold in, then add the other 1/2. Make sure not to over-stir because you want the eggs to retain their fluffiness. 

Sift or sieve the flour into the mixture, fold in, then pour into your prepared pan.

             
 

You are well on your way to savoring heaven on earth!!

Your springform pan will go into a water bath, so find a baking dish or casserole dish that is large enough to hold your springform pan and fill the bottom dish halfway with hot water. The purpose of a water bath is to make sure that the whole cake cooks through evenly, instead of the sides and bottom (that are in contact with the hot sides and bottom of the pan) overcooking while the center is undercooked. 

*If you realize at this point in the recipe that you don't have a pan this big because the springform is bigger than you thought it would be, DON'T PANIC-- your dessert will still be delicious. I know, because this is what I accidentally did. I just filled the casserole dish with water and put it in the oven with the torte, which is not the same thing, but that's why your stab at this recipe will hands-down be better than mine. Let me know when you make it, I'll head over.* 

Bake for 30-35 minutes. Your kitchen will smell DELICIOUS, even if your dog has gas. The torte nicely masks ugly smells. 

Once a toothpick inserted in the center comes out un-chocolatey, the torte is done. Let it cool to room temperature IN the water bath, then transfer upside onto a plate and transfer again upright to a flat plate or cake stand. 

Don't be afraid to try this one! Chocolate can be intimidating, but don't let that scare you. This recipe is very easy and oh-so-rewarding. Bake it for a party or don't tell anyone you made it and eat the whole thing while you Netflix 30 Rock. 

Cheers! 

Okra okra okra okra rockin' everywhurrr

As many of you know, I volunteer at Hollygrove Market and Farm every Sunday afternoon.  In exchange for my 4-hour volunteer shift (that I've been doing weekly for 9 months now, wowza!), they reward me with a box chock full o' fresh, local, often organic, seasonal fruits and veggies.  Recently, the box has been overflowing with delightfully crunchy okra!  Mah fehvorite! (<--said in the Irish hen's voice from Chicken Run, obviously)

Tis the season...

I wanted something different from the tried-and-true fried okra, so I tried a recipe that HMF included in their weekly newsletter--a recipe for African-style okra and tomatoes.  The prep was pretty quick and the cooking was slow, so I didn't take many pictures of the process....I know, I know, I'm the worst.  

I started by trimming the ends of the okra and steeping them in white wine vinegar, stirring frequently, for about 20 minutes while I prepped everything else.  Apparently, cooks in the South swear that soaking okra in vinegar "lowers okra's slime quotient," but I can't say I noticed any less slime in this recipe.  

While de-sliming the okra, I sautéed onions in grapeseed oil, then added shiitake mushrooms (even though the recipe called for button mushrooms, I got shiitakes in the Box!).  After a few minutes, I added diced tomatoes, garlic powder, black pepper, turmeric, cinnamon, nutmeg, and allspice, approximately a dash of each, and a handful of potatoes cut into large bite-size pieces.  I stirred well and then simmered uncovered for about 15 minutes.  

I added okra and some extra water last, then simmered covered for 45 minutes.  Since I have zero sense of forethought and chose my skillet before realizing I don't have a lid that fits it, I just used a cookie sheet and Rosie the Riveter-ed the shit outta this thing.  

Gorgeous pot o' color! So healthytimes yes!

Caution: while simmering, your entire house will begin to smell like the most delicious Afro-Carribean spice rack ever.  Embrace it.  Also embrace the fact that the turmeric in this recipe will temporarily stain any light colored surface it comes in contact with, including countertops, cutting boards, Tupperware, and these white-girl fingertips.  

After 45 minutes, I removed the okra, cut them into chunks, then added them back in and stirred and DEVOURED.  I enjoyed this recipe all week long for lunch and dinner, over rice and by itself, and the spices just got more aromatic as the week went on.  This makes a great, hearty stew for summertime, without being so heavy that you just want to lay down and die.  So go getchu some! 

"I just made the most delightful batch of gray cupcakes!"

Alternate title: 

"Brain food-- gray matter"

It was after dinner. I knew I wanted to bake something sweet and I knew there was no chocolate in the house, so I opted for a vanilla cupcake recipe, which is not my usual go-to. If you ever want to bake me anything, know that I respond quite well to chocolate. 

I started with this Martha Stewart recipe for vanilla cupcakes. Because our apartment has been infested by mold/mildew and I found today that many of my cupcake tins were mildewed, I quartered this recipe so I could use the 1 pan that wasn't ruined, which happened to be a 6-cupcake pan. Also, if there were 24 cupcakes in the house, I'd eat them all due to despair and frustration from the aforementioned mildew problem. By this point I've only eaten 2 cupcakes, half a tub of hummus, and have only sat in front of the TV drooling for, like, 3 hours. So I'm ok.

But, I digress.

In addition to *approximately* quartering the recipe (which included some odd measurements, like 0.375 cups...) I substituted brown sugar for white (again, using what I had in the cabinet). There may be some conversion tables to do this correctly, but I just kept the amounts the same. That, in conjunction with what I did next, is probably what made them gray.

Next, I raided the fridge. The Brew Meister had made some peach jam little while back, so I polished that off into the batter. He also took a business trip to Boise last week and thoughtfully brought home a small jar of huckleberry jam for us, so a spoonful went into the batter, too. That's probably the color culprit. In the photos, the cupcakes don't appear very gray, but trust me: they are. In fact, if I didn't have a mouthful of sweet teeth and a sugar craving the size of Russia, I might not even eat them (Disclaimer: that's probably not true.)

Because I added extra wet ingredients (2 flavors of jam), and didn't amp up the dry ingredients in return, and because my measurements may have been slightly significantly off, the cupcakes were a little gummy. The Brew Meister suggested "icing" them with some more of the huckleberry jam, which was a great suggestion.

The whole process of deciding to make cupcakes, finding a recipe, gathering ingredients, doing my math, and making the actual batter seemed to be an out-of-body experience. Clearly, whatever part of my brain that responds to sugar was leading the way here. Since that was the case, I didn't remember to get pictures of the assembly process. So, I took a picture of my sink after the fact:

Here's a funny side effect of this blog: because I know that at least one person is reading this (thanks, Mom!) I also subconsciously act as if people are watching me in my kitchen, so I tend to clean up really well and really quickly. Trust me, (and ask the Brew Meister), this is not something I do after every meal.

Thanks for reading, and I hope your cupcakes turn out better! Maybe adding only 1 flavor of jam, or not any jam, but making a nice icing, or just not baking them and eating the batter straight out of the bowl will result in better eats. I will not say if there was any leftover batter that didn't make it into the cupcake pan with this batch (wink).