Moroccan Olive Chicken with Cous Cous, recipe courtesy of my brain

So sorry for the lag time, comrades. Family was in town, I baked a cake, and time escaped me. But now, the next post:

In a brief and infrequent moment of foresight, I put some frozen chicken breasts in the fridge to thaw while I was at work today. That way, when I got home in a semi-tizzy after 8 hours in that hell-on-earth known as retail, I would at least have the ingredients ready to create the master plan I had just started thinking up on the way home. The alternative is hacking the chicken breasts apart with a not-sharp-enough knife, and we all know where that leads…

My master plan goes a little something like this, while I’m stopping-and-going on I-40:

“Dinner, dinner, dinner… I know, chicken!…baked! To keep the moisture in, it needs a jacket of…. Citrus? I don’t have any… [brain blast!] OLIVES! With…rice.”

So, I put the mostly defrosted chicken into a glass pan that I had a top for. I lightly salted and peppered the chicken boobies, then covered with 4 tablespoons of sliced green olives. When you do this at home, I would rinse the olives a bit, the brine tended to make some bites of this meal a little too salty. I also chopped some red, yellow and orange sweet peppers for color, then put the top on the dish and baked at 350* for about 20 minutes. Mine took longer than expected because the meat was thicker in some places than others. In retrospect, I would butterfly the chicken or cut them in half lengthwise (hot dog style—anybody else remember that from elementary school?)

Getting ready to bake! Kalamata olives or capers would probably work well here, too, if you wanted to experiment with a Greek, lemon-olive-rosemary dish.

While the chicken was cooking, I pureed about 2 cups of cilantro leaves (be sure to rinse them) with olive oil and some pine nuts. Pine nuts are crazy expensive, but I (randomly) had some lying around my pantry, so I used them. If you don’t have any and don’t want to buy any, walnuts work just as well. So, I blended those ingredients to make a sort of cilantro pesto.

Making the cilantro pesto

Rinsing my cilantro. Disregard the blueberries, which I was eating while rinsing. On a side note, a blueberry with a cilantro leaf wrapped around it is a surprisingly refreshing snack. 

It was then that I realized I forgot to put on the rice, which we all know takes longer than you would think it does.

Quick thinking: cous cous! If you haven’t tried it, cous cous is da bomb diggity (can’t believe I just said that, wow, hello 1994). It’s a grain, a Moroccan staple, and literally cooks in 5 minutes. You just boil your water, add a bit of salt and some olive oil or butter, then add cous cous, remove from heat, cover, let sit for 5 minutes, then fluff with a fork. While fluffing, I added some sun dried tomatoes, which made it really beautiful and even more colorful. And healthier, I suppose, if you’re going for that.

Time to plate! So, I put down some cous cous, then some pesto, then the chicken, spooned the olives, juices, and peppers on top, then a bit more pesto. I wanted this to be Food Network ready because the BrewMeister is such a Food Network junkie. I failed to mention, while I was making this he was—I kid you not—TAKING OUR FRONT DOOR OFF ITS HINGES and CUTTING RIGID PLASTIC WITH MY GOOD KITCHEN KNIVES. ShakeMyHead.

Men, I will never understand you, please explain yourselves. Thank you.    

Cannibal Chili...er, I mean, chicken. Chicken Chili. Yeah.

Crock pot meals are a wintertime staple for me, but winter is on its way out, so I'm cramming all the crock pot meals I can into a really short time frame.  This week I decided to make chili using the rest of my quinoa, some chicken breasts, a pretty orange bell pepper, some cans of black beans and corn, and a smorgasbord of spices.

That was the easy part.  You can find the recipe here.

Due to a clerical error on the part of an absolute imbecile at a Verizon kiosk that you can read about here, all photographic evidence of this kitchen adventure --not to mention all photographic evidence from the last 3.5 weeks from the rest of my life--was utterly and completely erased.  But, because I am committed to you readers and I am at least somewhat of a glutton for punishment, I decided to go through with the blog anyway and just...I dunno...illustrate it myself.

That's right, illustrate it myself.

This is the part where I need you to put on your "deciphering bad art" cap (I've made it easier by labeling the drawings) and double-down on your dose of forgiveness for my lack of skill while I lead you gracelessly through this meal.

Ready?  Allons-y!

First things first: rinse the quinoa.  Quinoa must be rinsed to rid it of its bitter "jacket;" I rinsed mine in cool water, swishing it with my fingers a little bit, for a few minutes.

This is what that looks like. 

I then chopped some onions and garlic using my favorite chef's knife and the onion goggles my mom gave me.

They've got foam surrounds to keep me from crying--miracle workers!  And apparently I cook in medical scrubs...

The quinoa and the onion and garlic went straight into the crock pot, along with a can of crushed tomatoes (who knew crushed tomatoes are really just thick tomato sauce?), a can of diced Rotel tomatoes with green chiles, a can of black beans, a can of corn (drained), two raw chicken breasts, and a pinch of chili powder, crushed red peppers, and cumin.

The ingredient you can't see is the finely minced Verizon rep I will sprinkle  liberally upon everything I eat, forever.  Also you can't see the chicken, because, let's be honest, who really wants to see my rendition of raw chicken? 

Everything is now in the crock pot.  I cook it on low for 5-7 hours, really depending on how big your breasts are.  (Chicken breasts, guys...jeez, pervy crowd)

After about 5.5 hours I pulled out the chicken, shredded it with two forks, put it back in the crock pot and changed the setting from "low" to "keep warm."

I served it in an adorable mug with sour cream and shredded cheese.

Finished product.  Huh, I draw better than I thought...jokes!  I sent this picture to M just before the Verizon debacle of '13, who sent it back to me expressly for your viewing pleasure. 

The next time I make this, I'll definitely make some changes:

1. Fewer tomatoes; maybe use the crushed tomatoes and cut out the Rotel entirely, or vice versa.  Cutting out the Rotel would result in a less Southwestern flavor, but cutting out the crushed tomatoes would make a really thick stew.
2. More black beans; I used one can because the recipe called for enough ingredients for a 6 qt slow cooker and mine is only 4 qt, but next time I want it beanier and less tomato-y.  
3. More chunks of Verizon rep, and bigger.  I didn't taste enough of his pain and suffering in exchange for my pain and suffering.  

Tune in next time for something delicious but, let's face it, probably weird looking.  Hey, we're good at what we do!  

Steak Me Out Tonight

I am persuaded that red meat is the bovine, porcine, ovine, (and...shudder...equine) world's gift to mankind: it's a good source of iron, and when you can splurge on a hunk of grass-fed cow, there is nothing in this world more buttery or delectable.

That's why I'm devoting this entire post to steak!  I've got photos aplenty, tips to prepare your steak for maximum tastebud pleasure, and two different methods of cooking up a divine medium-rare steak.

Look at that visceral goodness!  Vegetarian haterz be hatin.

It is suggested that one should consume no more than 18 oz of red meat--pork, lamb, or beef--during the week, and since I'm a petite woman on a budget, I usually just buy a good-looking 12oz (.75 pound) ribeye, cut it into four 3oz servings, and treat myself to romantic, candlelit, one-woman dinners all week long.  #Winning.

I like to buy a steak with good marbling and no major chunks of fat, and when I'm feeling really frisky (read: wealthy) I'll buy it from the farmer's market.  Otherwise, you can get a good cut from the butcher counter at your local grocery store, or a budget cut (more fatty, but also more reasonably priced) from the refrigerated, pre-packaged red meat section.  Usually the more you pay for a steak the better it is, but for those of you along the Gulf Coast with access to Rouse's, just know that I buy pre-packaged ribeyes from there for about $11 each and that feeds me all week.  Just sayin.  #WinningAgain.

The first method of cooking steak is on the stovetop, and the other is oven-broiled.  For both, I use only four ingredients: steak, olive oil, salt, and pepper.

STOVETOP: I like to let my steak sit at room temperature while the pan is heating up; it shouldn't EVER actually reach room temperature, and apparently this step is totally unnecessary, but it makes me personally feel better about it cooking more evenly.  It's like making tea; it's about the ceremony.  To each her own.

I heat up a little olive oil in a skillet and pat my steak dry to remove any condensation from the fridge.  Some folks salt their steaks heavily, but I haven't stepped up to the plate yet on that one.  Maybe next time.

Onto the raw steak I sprinkle salt and pepper and press it into the flesh so that it sticks while cooking.  I cook it a couple of minutes on one side, then flip it with tongs, NOT any kind of stabby tool (carving fork, knife, etc)--all the juices that would consequently leak out are exactly what I want to stay IN the steak.

When cooking on the stovetop, I like to start with high heat to sear the steak on both sides, then reduce the temperature and do a little jig while my kitchen fills with the smell of steak and that red pulpy mass turns into a finely crusted masterpiece before my eyes.  I like my steak medium rare, so I use the finger test to determine its doneness.  Some use a meat thermometer, but I just see that as another stabby tool tryna steal all the juices from my steak.

Just say NO to stabby tools!  

OVEN: Cooking a steak in the oven is quite possibly one of the easiest things I've ever done, but my broiler produces a lot of smoke, so it can be an unnerving experience.

I turn the broiler on high and put a cast iron skillet (the same hillbilly appliance I used in my panini-making days) in the oven to heat up.  I also turn one of the burners on high while I brush my steak on all sides with olive oil and once again press salt and pepper into the flesh.  In the meantime, I carefully take the HOT cast iron skillet and place it on the hot eye, then I sear my steak for 30 seconds on one side, flip with tongs or a spatula, and sear for 30 seconds on the other side.  Then I carefully put the skillet back in the oven and broil my steak for 1 minute, then flip and broil on the other side for 1 minute.

What was that, like, 5 minutes of cook time?  Of course, this yields a spectacularly medium-rare steak, so if you want yours more done (sacrilege!), you can adjust the cook time accordingly.

Please ignore the giant chunk of fat; this is quite possibly the worst picture I've ever taken.  Also ignore the pillow in the background; let's just pretend I have a table to eat at, shall we?  

In the meantime, I'm cooking veggies!  (You didn't think I could eat JUST meat, did you?  Well, I certainly could--in fact, I just had steak by itself for breakfast--but the veggies make the pictures so much more interesting!)  For this meal in particular I had sides of steamed green beans with lemon and pepper, and--one of my personal favorites--citrus Brussels sprouts.

For the Brussels sprouts: I cut them all in half and place them cut side down in a skillet heated with a little olive oil and a liberal sprinkle of salt and pepper; this allows them to sear lightly and develop a rich-flavored crust.  To cook them fully, I add liquid of any kind--this time it was a mixture of vegetable broth and blood orange juice, but I've also done beef broth with pesto, orange juice with red wine or a little whiskey...the possibilities are endless!--and let them simmer in it until they've turned dark green and yield slightly to the touch.

Brussels sprouts also pair perfectly with bacon; try cooking your bacon, searing your sprouts in the bacon fat,  letting them simmer in a red wine-orange juice combo, and sprinkling them with chopped bacon.  You can thank me later.  

The timeline for this meal looks a little like this:  I start the Brussels sprouts and green beans (steamed in my rice cooker) first, and when they're 5-7 minutes away from being done, I start the steak.  This lets everything finish in approximately the same time, which yields a meal that is positively applause-worthy.

Case in point. 

New York's Hottest Club is....SPICY

Today’s meal has an Asian flair to it, and is also dairy- and gluten-free for those of you who give a damn (or have monthly resolutions like I do. We’ll see how long I can last without cheese. Feta doesn’t count. Neither does goat cheese.)

ANYWAY, I bought a package of chicken breast tenderloins. I mixed chunky peanut butter and hot sauce in a bowl (I use Sriracha hot chili sauce— flavorful spice, not just spicy for the sake of being spicy).

 

"New York's hottest club is Spicy. Opened in 2017 in the upper east side of a dumpster, this 24 hour bitch fest is the creation of..." -Stefon, SNL

I slathered the chicken with this mixture, then put the pieces in a single layer in a dish and sprinkled with hot curry powder and chili powder. You can use cayenne to add spice, too, but I didn’t have any. I let this “marinate” all day in the fridge while I was at work. I like chunky PB but if you like creamy, so be it. Cashew (or maybe even almond) butter could also work. 

First thing when I got home, I took the chicken out of the fridge and put on a pot of jasmine rice to boil. The chicken was cooked in a pan, sort-of fried (I cooked it in coconut oil to add more Asian flavor and also, coconut oil= YUM), and sort-of steamed because I turned down the heat, added some water and cooked with the lid on.

Remove the done chicken from the pan (I put it on a plate and cover that with another plate to keep it warm), add some more peanut butter, spices and hot sauce, and a bit of water to the pan, then cook until the peanut butter is melted. Not only does this make an awesome sauce, but heating up the pan with more liquid helps to clean off the browned bits from the pan (i.e. less scrubbing later!!) The same effect can be achieved by giving the pan to your dog to lick clean after it cools.

Looks a bit like vomit, sorry about that. This result can also be achieved by your dog.

Put the chicken on a bed of rice, slather with the peanut sauce—then you can embellish with cilantro, lime, chopped cashews or peanuts, etc. 

The BrewMeister boyfriend commented "All my thumbs up, even the ones on my toes!" Thanks, Brew Meister :) Now brew me some Thai beer!

Mexi-British Taco Chili Shepherd's Pie

My half-British boyfriend got excited when I mentioned shepherd’s pie—little did we know it would actually take a Mexican-venison-taco-chili turn. Obviously, this recipe can be accomplished with ground beef, ground chicken, ground turkey, or--I won’t tell--ground feral cat. (just kidding, don’t do that).

It all started when my boss, who hunts, gave us some ground venison. I decided to make a chili, sautéing onions and garlic in a skillet first.

A word about onions: I’ve found a great trick for cutting them in (almost) equal size pieces. I learned from a friend, but this video does a good job explaining. There are lots of old wives tales to avoid onion tears, but I use a handy pair of Onion Goggles that my mom got me. You what? You want to see a picture of me wearing them? Well, I don’t know about tha…OK, fine.

Put some olive oil in the skillet, let it heat up, then add onions first, since they take a bit longer to cook (and are in larger pieces than the minced garlic). Then add garlic to the same skillet, and cook until they start smelling yummy (at least yummy to me—if you don’t like garlic or onions, we can’t be friends. Sorry.) Then I add the meat to brown in the skillet. Then some stock (chicken, beef, vegetable or water + bouillon cubes, depending on your budget. About 1/2 cup) and a can of diced tomatoes. To season, I add some chili powder, cumin & taco seasoning (about ½ of one of the packets you can buy in Kroger. If you’re not into packaged seasonings, which can sometimes be too salty, you can just add a bit of salt, some chili powder, some cayenne if you want it more spicy, some cumin, etc.) My secret ingredient in this is about a ½ teaspoon of cinnamon when the meat is browning and liquid is evaporating. It makes everything smell that much more wonderful, and it adds another element of Mexican-osity. And maybe some Morocco-ness. Stir to make sure the powdered spices are fully incorporated. Biting into a dry pocket of spice powder is.the.worst.

Simmer until liquid is mostly evaporated (you still want a bit of liquid to keep it from drying out when you broil), meat is browned, and your mouth is watering from the delicious smells.

While the meat simmered, I washed and cut my Russet potatoes.

I like to wash my potatoes really well with the cute little brush you see in the photo (also from my mom—what a kitchen enabler!) because I like to keep the skins on. Three reasons for this: 1) skin is where most of the nutrients live, 2) peeling takes FOREVER, 3) dirt don’t hurt. You can just scrub your potatoes with your hands, but if you do use a brush, definitely don’t use the same brush you wash dishes with.

Boil the potatoes until they cut easily with a wooden spoon (this is the best way to test done-ness with vegetables.)

I like using wooden spoons because they make me feel rustic, old-fashioned and like I’m channeling Julia Child, and they are more fun to hit people on the butt with.

When the potatoes are done, mash them. I like mine chunky, so I use a masher, but if you’re a smooth (potato) criminal, you’ll probably want a hand mixer. I added some butter while mashing.

Put the cooked meat in a 9x13 pan as the first layer, then put the mashed potatoes on top. I pat them down a bit, to make sure this meal is extra rib-stickin'. I salted & peppered the top, then added a couple pats of butter, to make sure the potatoes have flavor, too.

Then broil for about 10 minutes, until the top is golden brown & lovely & delicious & crispy & wonderful.

A good pairing with this dish would be a nice Merlot or Cabernet Sauvignon, or a delightful 2013 vintage PBR. Enjoy this cross-Atlantic cultural mash-up! 

QUIZ: chenopod or karate sound effect?

So the nerd in me likes to (push her glasses up on the bridge of her nose and) learn about the origin of the food she's eating.

• Did you know eggplants, avocados, and tomatoes are classified botanically as berries?  
• Did you know that coconut water can be used as an emergency substitute for blood plasma?
• Did you know that quinoa (keen-WAH) is, in fact, a semi-grain (also known as a chenopod) and NOT a karate noise? 

"KeenWAH!!!"  Ok, so maybe it's both. 

Now that you're dazzled by my astonishing raw data and that adorable image is seared in your brain, let's move on to the real reason you're all here: a kickass new recipe (karate pun?  No?  Ok.) 

The ingredient du jour?  Quinoa!  I hadn't cooked quinoa before I tried this recipe, but I cook in my Crock pot quite often, and this week I let those two kitchen kids hold hands on the counter for a few hours while mommy got drunk.  The recipe: Roasted Red Pepper Quinoa Chili

Disclaimer: as M said, we take after our mother when we follow a recipe...in that we DON'T.  I mean, at least we come by it honest... 

This recipe uses a Dutch oven...which I don't have.  So, I used my Crock pot instead; I even googled "tips for converting Dutch oven recipes to a Crock pot," and there is a surprising amount of data returned for that search. In the end, I determined that every 30 minutes in a Dutch oven on medium-high heat is equal to about an hour in the Crock pot, and I set out to quonquer some quinoa (see what I did there?  No?  Ok.) 

I started by roasting a couple of red bell peppers and serrano peppers.  I'd never roasted peppers before, but it's SO easy and it made my house smell SO Mediterranean and festive.  After replacing the words "Dutch oven" with "Crock pot" throughout the entire recipe, I decided to sautée the chopped zucchini, onions, and garlic in the Crock pot.  Caveat: even on high, folks, the Crock pot does not reach high enough temperatures to heat oil to sauté chopped veggies.  You have been warned.  

Still, the rest of the recipe went off without a hitch: the veggies (sautéed elsewhere) mixed with the roasted peppers in the Crock pot, plus some kidney beans and some quinoa (well rinsed, otherwise it can taste soapy or bitter), plus cumin, chili powder (which I didn't have so I replaced it in equal measure with cayenne pepper, which I have been sweating out of my system for the past few meals), and some good ole S&P made this aromatic mixture bubble up in the pot in no time. 

And then some time. 

And then what felt like a LOT of time. 

When cooking quinoa, you know it's done when the germ curls out of the seed like a wee fern.  When cooking quinoa in a Dutch oven, this process (according to the recipe) will take place in about 20 minutes. 

In a Crock pot, this process took almost 2 hours.  

Not a big deal; it's a slow cooker, it was up front about that from the get-go in this relationship; still, I was thrown for a loop because I wanted chili and I wanted it NOW.  

In the end, though, I got a heaping pot full of delicious vegetarian chili, which I ate by itself, on salads, with pasta, over rice, and my personal favorite, with a big ole slab of vegetarian STEAK.

Now, go forth and eat!

I am the worst person to smell your milk

Today I attempted to make a single cupcake, (loosely) based on a recipe I found here. This is a great option if you’re addicted to sugar, like me, or you have limited self-control when it comes to dessert, also like me.

 The beer isn’t a listed ingredient, but it’s “my little helper”. Also, it was brewed by my boyfriend, The BrewMeister!

It was a vanilla cupcake, so I probably should have made sure I had vanilla extract BEFORE I started (I did not.)  Because I learned to cook and bake from my über-creative mother who rarely follows a recipe, substitutions ran rampant in this experiment. 

   -       I didn’t read the recipe beforehand to get a head start
on softening the butter, so I did that in a bowl on top of the toaster oven while it heated up

   -       Yes—I cooked it in a toaster oven (to save energy)

   -       Didn’t have almond milk, so I used regular milk. I had my boyfriend smell it because I don’t drink milk, so I’m horrible at deciding whether or not it has spoiled. Don’t ask me to smell your milk.

   -       Didn’t have vanilla extract, so I used vanilla…yogurt

   -        I second-guessed my measurements on the baking powder, so I may (or may not) have over-corrected. 

In spite of all these "choices", the cupcake turned out deliciously, and the perfect portion size for someone trying to curb their sugar addiction. The yogurt made it dense, like this wonderful yogurt cake one of our French exchange students made for us in high school, [drool]. The batter made slightly more than 1 cupcake (maybe 2 if you fill each one 2/3 of the way), so it spread out on the top and made this delightfully lumpy shape.

Obviously, K’s posts are going to be the beautifully delicious food porn, and mine will be the happy accidents :) 

"I made a sammich." ...We're so proud of you?

Welcome to Food Porn, where we get you all hot and bothered…in the kitchen.

Wink.

A brief intro: we're two sisters who love to eat and cook, and this year we decided to share a New Year's resolution to try at least one new recipe a week.  This blog came about as a way to share our recipes and our experiences with each other and with anyone who cares to peer voyeur-like into our kitchens.  

...ya creepers....  

Without further ado, welcome to our first post!  It's pretty simple, and doesn't even include a new recipe, but I’m committed to it because it features what is, to me, one of the most important things in the kitchen: fresh ingredients!

On this rainy, post-yoga Sunday, I wanted something quick and simple, so I made a bagel panini.  Literally, just a bagel, some toppings, and heat; that’s all it takes.  But don’t worry, I included pictures. 

I started with a salt bagel—I like to buy fresh bagels in bulk, cut them in half, and then freeze them, wrapping them individually in plastic wrap and then sealing them all together in a freezer bag to keep out the freezer burn. 

I toasted the bagel in grease from last night’s steak because I’m a gourmand and we can do that; then I added all these fresh ingredients:

Red onion, creole tomato, red leaf lettuce, and Rotterdam gouda

I buy all my gorgeous veggies from my local Market & Farm, which specializes in local, fresh, and often organic produce.  The fare changes based on what’s in season; each week the produce is brought in from farms within a 200 mile radius of the city; and each week they post recipes for some of the items found in The Box (which only costs $25), which just makes cooking that much easier.  Affordable local, fresh, seasonal produce...you really can't go wrong.  

My sister tells me there are several ways to paninize© a sandwich.  There’s the panini press (on the same level of multitasking as the strawberry shortcake maker, i.e. Level Zero).  You could also use a George Foreman grill if the grill lines are a mark of achievement for your panini. A resourceful colleague of my sister’s says that you could grab a brick from a construction site, wrap it in tin foil, and use that to seal your sandwich halves together.

But this Appalachian-blooded hillbilly used…a cast iron skillet.

Somewhere, a toothless man plays Duelin' Banjos

I served this mountain of fresh goodness with a side of leftover roasted veggies (radishes, eggplant, carrots, broccoli, onions, and garlic roasted with olive oil, salt, pepper, bay leaves, and smoked paprika at 400˚ for 20 minutes ) for a quick, healthy, tasty, post-exercise meal.  

Then I had a beer, which negated everything.  Cheers!