Cannibal Chili...er, I mean, chicken. Chicken Chili. Yeah.

Crock pot meals are a wintertime staple for me, but winter is on its way out, so I'm cramming all the crock pot meals I can into a really short time frame.  This week I decided to make chili using the rest of my quinoa, some chicken breasts, a pretty orange bell pepper, some cans of black beans and corn, and a smorgasbord of spices.

That was the easy part.  You can find the recipe here.

Due to a clerical error on the part of an absolute imbecile at a Verizon kiosk that you can read about here, all photographic evidence of this kitchen adventure --not to mention all photographic evidence from the last 3.5 weeks from the rest of my life--was utterly and completely erased.  But, because I am committed to you readers and I am at least somewhat of a glutton for punishment, I decided to go through with the blog anyway and just...I dunno...illustrate it myself.

That's right, illustrate it myself.

This is the part where I need you to put on your "deciphering bad art" cap (I've made it easier by labeling the drawings) and double-down on your dose of forgiveness for my lack of skill while I lead you gracelessly through this meal.

Ready?  Allons-y!

First things first: rinse the quinoa.  Quinoa must be rinsed to rid it of its bitter "jacket;" I rinsed mine in cool water, swishing it with my fingers a little bit, for a few minutes.

This is what that looks like. 

I then chopped some onions and garlic using my favorite chef's knife and the onion goggles my mom gave me.

They've got foam surrounds to keep me from crying--miracle workers!  And apparently I cook in medical scrubs...

The quinoa and the onion and garlic went straight into the crock pot, along with a can of crushed tomatoes (who knew crushed tomatoes are really just thick tomato sauce?), a can of diced Rotel tomatoes with green chiles, a can of black beans, a can of corn (drained), two raw chicken breasts, and a pinch of chili powder, crushed red peppers, and cumin.

The ingredient you can't see is the finely minced Verizon rep I will sprinkle  liberally upon everything I eat, forever.  Also you can't see the chicken, because, let's be honest, who really wants to see my rendition of raw chicken? 

Everything is now in the crock pot.  I cook it on low for 5-7 hours, really depending on how big your breasts are.  (Chicken breasts, guys...jeez, pervy crowd)

After about 5.5 hours I pulled out the chicken, shredded it with two forks, put it back in the crock pot and changed the setting from "low" to "keep warm."

I served it in an adorable mug with sour cream and shredded cheese.

Finished product.  Huh, I draw better than I thought...jokes!  I sent this picture to M just before the Verizon debacle of '13, who sent it back to me expressly for your viewing pleasure. 

The next time I make this, I'll definitely make some changes:

1. Fewer tomatoes; maybe use the crushed tomatoes and cut out the Rotel entirely, or vice versa.  Cutting out the Rotel would result in a less Southwestern flavor, but cutting out the crushed tomatoes would make a really thick stew.
2. More black beans; I used one can because the recipe called for enough ingredients for a 6 qt slow cooker and mine is only 4 qt, but next time I want it beanier and less tomato-y.  
3. More chunks of Verizon rep, and bigger.  I didn't taste enough of his pain and suffering in exchange for my pain and suffering.  

Tune in next time for something delicious but, let's face it, probably weird looking.  Hey, we're good at what we do!